People Want to Support You
Have you ever thought about just how supported you are?
Let’s take a moment to inhale, exhale, and consider this in full color:
Have you thought about every single human who has ever complimented you, appreciated you, admired you from afar?
Have you thought about how many people have ever “liked” your facebook status, prayed for you without you knowing, wished you well, asked about you, stood up for you, or visited you in the hospital?
What about everyone who has ever bought you a gift, shared your work, babysat your kids, let you cry without judgement, or participated in your project solely because you were the one who made it?
What else? How else have you been supported in this life?
(When I co-founded a farmer’s market in Chicago, some of my friends, family, and even acquaintances traveled in from the suburbs and other states just to shop at my market. The trip was logistically inconvenient, and they passed by their own local farmer’s markets while driving/biking/walking/standing on a sweaty train to visit mine. But they still showed up because it was mine. That’s support.)
We have a choice in what to focus on. We can focus on the snippets of criticism and cattiness in real life, or on the teacher who thought we were stupid, or on the rude comment from someone behind us in line. We can gloss over all the positive reviews we receive and fixate on the negative ones. We can constantly remind everyone about the person who wronged us five years ago.
Or we can choose another way. A lighter way.
Focusing on the negative is easy, but it’s also lazy. It’s the most boring thing we could do, and not only does it attach us energetically to our “haters,” it severs us from the possibilities that are beckoning us to move forward into the light.
When you shift your focus to how supported you are and how many people want to see you shine — everything changes. And that shift is available to you in an instant.
* * *
Last weekend I taught the biggest in-person workshop of my life to a group of romance writers in St. Louis. The morning of the talk, I stood outside the front door of my hotel waiting for my ride to the event, and I practiced out loud.
I had my notes in one hand, my giant hand gestures in the other, my stopwatch running on my phone, and I was wearing a big colorful dress. My back was to the hotel lobby, and apparently they could all see me talking to myself.
I know this because a family walked out, schlepping all their bags to their car, stopped me, and said: “Hey! Good luck with whatever you’re presenting!”
I was startled, but I’m also used to people noticing me talking to myself in public.
“Thanks!” I told them, “I’m really nervous — I appreciate it!”
Then another family left the hotel, and they turned to me too: “Hey — good luck! It looks like you’re going to do great!”
Then another. And another. And another. By the time my ride came, five sets of strangers, who I will never see again, who had no idea of what I was doing and no sense if I was “good” or “bad” at it… all wished me luck.
I didn’t do anything to deserve this, and I didn’t have to. They gave their love and hope and goodwill freely.
* * *
People WANT to support you. We want to see you shine and win and sparkle, because our default is to wish success for others.
Very few people actually want to see you bomb. And while of course there are some bullies out there, their efforts feel meaningless in the face of unexpected love, hope, and random words of kindness.
Keep going. Focus on who supports you. Focus on the ground under your feet holding you up, the paycheck from your day job that supports your creative work, and every ounce of support you have received today. Shift your gaze towards the light.
And be the person who supports others for no reason. You will make someone’s day, you will uplift yourself, and those blessings will flood right back to you.
Peace and Overflowing Love from All Angles,
Kelsey
PS Supporting people on their journeys is the greatest honor and joy of my life. If you’re looking for personalized 1:1 coaching support to catapult you past your creative plateaus, visit my coaching page or reach out to me for details.
